


I still love you

by noumenon



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:58:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4870915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noumenon/pseuds/noumenon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix wakes up after dying. This can’t be real.<br/>(spoiler: it's not)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I still love you

**Author's Note:**

> I just started writing and let whatever happened happen. I'm really proud of how it turned out, so here you go.

They were in a field, just lying there, the two of them. It was so calm that it seemed impossible.

Wind rustled through the tall stalks of grass. For some reason Felix couldn’t feel the grass beneath him, it was as though he was laying on nothing. He was well aware that it should have been prickly, or even if not that it should be something, there should be some sort of adjective to describe the way it felt to lay on the grass other than just the general feeling of calm that surrounded him.

“It’s not real.”

Felix turned his head and furrowed his brow at Locus. “What do you mean? Of course it’s real.”

The other man – was he real? – shook his head. “No, Felix. You’re dead.”

And it hit him. He wasn’t calm, he was in agony. Felix instantly curled up and started to scream in pain as his fall came back into the forefront of his memories. 

Locus watched, for just a few moments. His silhouette seemed to flicker but he touched Felix’s arm and anchored himself there. The pain ebbed, just a bit.

“I… I can’t be dead.” Felix yelled. He forced himself to unravel and sit up. Maybe if he looked like he wasn’t in pain he wouldn’t be. This wasn’t even real, right?

“Felix. You’re dead.” Locus told him yet again. “I’m sorry.”

“Then where the hell am I?” Felix forced out between gritted teeth. Everything hurt. “This is too good for hell.”

“It’s not hell.”

“Are you dead?”

A moment of silence passed, interrupted only by the wind in the distance.

“No.” Locus finally admitted. “I think I’m still alive.”

“Then what are you? If I’m dead and Locus is alive, then you can’t really be Locus.”

“I’m just want you want Locus to be.”

Felix narrowed his eyes and stared at the man next to him. “What does that mean?”

“It means,” Locus began, “I still love you.”

Still. _Still_. Then it was true, Locus didn’t love him. Not anymore.

Felix liked to think that he was good at dealing with pain, he liked to think he was handling his current pain quite well given the fact that he was literally feeling a deadly amount of pain, but hearing that, that only a fake Locus could still love him, that hurt more than the feeling of his body hitting the ground at maximum velocity. 

“I hate you.” Felix whispered. He clutched his knees and fought back tears. “I do, I really, really hate you.”

Locus stroked his arm gently. The pain seemed to dissipate as he did. At least, the physical pain did. What he felt deeper inside, that only got worse. Then Locus pulled him close in an embrace and he felt like he was suffocating, like his heart wasn’t working. Technically it wasn’t, he supposed, but that was no consolation in this situation. 

“I still love you.” 

“Leave me alone.” Felix couldn’t hold back the tears that began to seep from his eyes. “Leave me alone, Locus. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. Is that what you want to hear?”

“I still love you.”

Felix tried to jerk away but Locus was too strong, or maybe Felix was just too weak. That was likely it. He was too weak. That’s why he was dead. Felix was too weak.

“Stop it.” Felix begged. “You don’t love me.”

“I still love you.” He was a broken record.

Maybe this was hell after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear to god when I started this I wasn't anticipating it to be sad, and yet here we are.
> 
> if you liked it, please tell me! comments give me strength to write.


End file.
